I woke up a few hours later to the rhythmic THWACK of wood being chopped outside my window. I sat up, looked outside, and there he was. So this is real. Not some crazy dream. That man actually proposed to me last night, and now I have a decision to make. A really really big one. I have to call Amanda!
I recounted the whole episode over the phone, while standing at the window watching the handsome wood-chopper. Re-telling the story made it feel real. We had a moment or two of squealing. Just then, Nathan looked up! I froze. He smiled and waved, then went back to swinging the axe. If he was trying to impress me, it worked.
The next day I wasn’t really sure what to do, so I got out of the house and did some ranch work. Once I caught her looking out the window at me with a phone to her ear. Either telling her best friend that prince charming was in her yard, or getting tips on how to get rid of the body and hide the evidence.
Hahahaha! It was definitely not the latter. We hung up the phone and I knew I had to get out of there. My parents had told me the night before that they, Nathan, and Nathan’s parents had been fasting and praying about all of this for a few days. So I decided I would join them for today, and head to the mountains.
I grabbed my Bible, a water bottle, and my journal and hopped in my Jeep. By now, Nathan was laying under my mom’s car, working on something. I slipped by and thought “well at least he’s awfully handy to have around…”
I drove 20 minutes towards the mountains, to a little lake in Colorado City. And that’s where I spent the rest of my day.
I have no idea how long I sat there, thinking outloud, praying, asking God to make this VERY clear. Eventually I picked up my Bible and flipped open to the “Psalm of the day”. It’s January 8th, so we start on Psalm 8. As I started to read, my memory took over and I began to recite. Complete with hand-motions. Wait… what am I doing??? Then the realization dawns. This is the Psalm we learned with the children in Monterrey. The week I met Nathan. That could be a coincidence… right???
I read for a long time. Through many Psalms, random Proverbs, and who knows where else. There was no rhyme or reason to it, I just read. Then something I read would make me think “oh that reminds me of this other passage…” and I’d go off in search of it. But no matter what I read, I could only see two words. Faith. Trust.
Finally I dropped my Bible onto my lap and said aloud “seriously God, You know I trust You. But what am I supposed to do with it? Am I supposed to marry this guy on faith???”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.”
“Yeah I know. I do. I am! But this is too weird. I don’t even know Nathan.”
“Lean not on your own understanding.”
I shook my head. This is bizarre. What will people think?
Somewhere deep inside, I felt it. Clear as a bell. “You can trust Me. I know you better than anyone. I know Nathan better than anyone. If I say you are perfect for eachother, what more do you need to know?” Okay. That settles it then.
I’ll say yes.
I wish there were words to describe the peace I felt that day. Once I stopped wrestling and questioning, I was flooded with peace. And excitement! I spent the rest of my time writing out my answer. I wanted to give him a detailed answer, as he had presented a detailed question. I outlined my thoughts and feelings about him from day 1 until now. All the while, I was floating. Not another question or doubt in my mind. I KNEW.
She asked for a family dinner that evening at a favorite TexMex place in town. Grandma and Grandpa too. We sat mid table across from each other. She had made notes and for a moment I thought this was it. 101 ways to tell a guy to beat it. Then she read aloud and her reading said “yes” only in more words that I can’t remember. I don’t think I was listening anymore. I was grinning like an oaf.
I read through my answer, my voice and hands shaking. Can this be happening? As I finished, I looked up at Nathan (he really was grinning like an oaf! So adorable!) then I heard my grandma and mom sniffling. Oh no. Not the water works! 🙂 I went down to hug them both, and the sniffs were soon replaced by laughter. We were ALL so happy!
When she left her place for a moment to hug her mom and dad I placed a cheap ring from wal-mart on her empty plate. I had picked it up a few days ago with her brother Billy, who knew what she liked. I still have no idea how I had missed all the classes on romance in my life, but I swear I will teach my son better.
No, he’s not kidding! There really was a plastic Walmart ring on my plate when I sat back down. But I didn’t care. It was a REALLY pretty fake. 😉
The rest of the dinner was nervous, excited, and again… kinda awkward! But it was a great night. When dinner was over, my dad suggested that Nathan and I drive home in my car. Alone. Eek! NOW I’m nervous!
As we drove away Nathan said “well I know an awful lot about you. But I’m sure there are things you want to ask me…” My mind was reeling with questions. But I did a quick prioritizing session and said “yeah….” He said “go ahead! Ask me anything.”
Okay. First things first. “How old are you?” 23. 16 months older than me. Phew.
“What’s your middle name? Do you have any siblings? What are your parents like? Where were you born?”
As he answered my questions, it dawned on me how crazy this was. These are first introduction kind of questions. I looked down at the ring on my finger. I just asked my FIANCE how old he is??? I may have had a slight freak-out moment. But very quickly, God whispered to my heart “keep trusting Me. This is right.” As soon as I would respond in my head “okay I trust You” the peace would come flooding back.
God and I would have that exact conversation several times over the next 9 months!