It’s now Wednesday morning, 48 hrs from the beginning of this strange situation that is our new reality. Everything seems to be focused on the coming evening. That’s when the steroids will have taken their full effect on the baby’s lungs and given him a fighting chance of survival, should he make his appearance right now. That’s also when they are going to take me off the Magnesium IV!
When my nurse walked in today, she said “oh my! You look pregnant!” I smiled and told her she looked nice, too. She laughed, saying “No, I mean your belly is bigger today!” I agreed and said that it looks like the bag resealed and is refilling. She replied “well… that doesn’t really happen after a complete rupture like you had. You can spring a leak and then reseal, but a total rupture? Different story.” I shrugged and said “well I’m getting bigger. The baby is moving around easier. God does miracles all the time… that’s all I need to know!” She said something like “I guess we’ll see… it is probably the blood clot that is keeping it in there…”
I asked about taking a shower again today, but they keep saying “let’s just see how you do today…” I am guessing that since they still won’t let me get out of the bed, I’m not doing as well as they would like. I am still on full-time contraction and baby-heartbeat monitors. But the contractions only come when I change position drastically or if I get worked up. As long as we avoid those two things, maybe we can keep them at bay. I’m still on 2 mg of Magnesium Sulfate. People keep bringing me things to eat, but chewing is almost impossible! My muscles feel so heavy and lazy… it’s weird. I had 3 bites of baked potato for dinner, which tasted SO good, but then I couldn’t get my jaw to open wide enough to get more bites in. Guess that meal is over! My parents brought me a chocolate malt from Sonic (God bless Sonic!!! Everything from there tastes amazing, and it’s right around the corner!!!) which may have been the happiest moment of my day. No, scratch that. The happiest moment was when my parents brought the girls by and they walked into the room saying “Hi Mommy!!!” Each taking turns to kiss me carefully. They ask if Baby William is doing better. OH how I miss holding them, putting them in bed, taking them to the potty, jumping up to kiss their owies, fixing their meals, cleaning up the spills, doing their hair, giving them baths… things that I usually complain about. God, thank you. I needed a perspective change. Clearly.
I can not forget to mention one of the most amazing blessings thus far. Chelsey! She is a friend from Colorado who was our doula at Gabi’s birth. She is an angel. We recieved a call from her on Monday night (I think?) asking if she could come help with the girls. How to care for them through all of this was one of our greatest concerns, so of course we gratefully accepted!!! Our sweet Michelle picked Chelsey up at the airport this-morning. She has been here with us all day, since my parents have the girls and didn’t need backup. I can not begin to describe the relief I feel, knowing that someone is here to take care of my sweet girls. Indefinitely. Knowing that she will respect the boundries already in place, have tons of fun, make sure everyone is cared for, and do it all in her amazingly sweet way is just incredible. We are SO glad God sent her.
I battle with mixed feelings all day over the issue of the Magnesium. While I am counting down the hrs until it runs out (it’s making my IV arm cramp and burn like I can’t believe), I am nervous. After all, it’s the mag that stopped the contractions. They were coming every 3 minutes. Part of me curses the horrible stuff and it’s unbelievable side-effects… at the same time I find myself thanking God for it. It really is a miracle drug. Labor would have kept on marching without it. Several times throughout the day, different nurses and drs stop in to check on us. I feel that they are preparing me for labor. They keep saying things like “now when they mag comes off, pay close attention to the contractions.” or “did we already have you sign the release for emergency cesarean?” One of the drs wanted to make sure that the girls were taken care of so that Nathan could be with me all night. At least two people told me that early water breakage and labor is generally from infection, which mag can only stop for a little while. I truly think they all believe we’ll be having a baby tonight.
7:45 pm, the nurse comes in and takes down the bag of Magnesium. OH happy day! Within 10 minutes I feel like a new person. I can suddenly focus my eyes. My headache begins to clear. The perpetual hot flash stops completely. Hooray!!! My hands are still VERY puffy, but I’m sure that will clear up soon. Over the next few hrs I am paying very close attention to the contractions…. but there is only 1! They are definitely not picking up. Yet. And to make things even sweeter, we are at the 48 hr mark now!!! What a comfort to know that we have this incredible technology available to us.
Hours later, I’m able to sleep. Blissful of the fact that I have only had 1 contraction in 2 hrs. I feel human again with the mag working it’s way out of my system. Amazing how my falling asleep prayer has changed in 2 days from “God please just be merciful” to “God why are you so good to us??” We are blessed and cared for beyond comprehension.
(The original post and comments can be found here.)