This Mother’s Day was one of reflection for me. My first deep thought this-morning (don’t ask how long it took to have one of those after I’d woken up… it’s embarrassing) was about the last 2 weeks. What an incredible roller-coaster it’s been! It struck me how very different this Mother’s Day *could* have been. Just 10 days ago, doctors and nurses were attempting to prepare me for what they thought was inevitable… giving birth to a micro-preemie. He would most likely not survive. Yesterday would have felt much different, if God had allowed that. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for God’s merciful hand on our situation. For sparing the life of my son. For working numerous miracles that have already touched people we don’t even know.
But my heart also hurts today. For the friend who, just last week, gave birth at 19 weeks to twin baby boys and had to say goodbye as soon as she said hello. For our sweet church friend whose 18 yr old daughter died in a car accident last fall. For my own mom who still sorely misses her first-born son. He has been in Heaven for 8 yrs now. For multiple friends who are still longing for the joy of being a mother. I remember that pain. There was a Mother’s Day, 8 yrs ago, that I remember very well. I had just suffered a miscarriage at 13 weeks. I was angry at God and could not imagine why He would allow some women(who didn’t even want kids) to have one healthy pregnancy after another. Yet here we were, trying so desperately to have just one. That Mother’s Day hurt. I cried through the church service. Looking back, I can see how near God was… He was drawing us to Himself. We had things to learn through that season of tears. So today, all I can do is pray that God will be as near to my friends (and family) as He has been to me through heart-aches. Sometimes it is only after the ache has faded that we can see how near He really was. But my sincere prayer is that these women will feel His nearness today, no matter how sharp or dull the pain.
It’s hard to believe I’m writing this from Colorado. It was impossible. Out of the question! But one week ago, the doctors said “you may get to go home if this keeps up.” We were shocked! The last ultrasound had shown nothing but good news. The amnio test proved that there was no leak. Contractions have slowed to only a few random ones per day. The doctors start the weekend telling us that the bleeding will probably continue until Will is born… because placentas don’t generally heal. But last Sunday, it stopped! And hasn’t started again. Yet another reality that was not supposed to be possible.
On Wednesday morning, Dr. Clewell came in to our room and said “well? Any changes over the night?” to which I replied “nope!” He smiled and patted my leg. “Great. Let’s get you out of here!!” A few hours later, I was out! We spent the rest of Wed (May 9) at a hotel. The girls swam, we napped, ordered Chinese, and just LOVED being together. Sleeping in the same room (and bed) feels like a great privledge now.
Thursday afternoon, my dad flew in to Phoenix, and then turned around and flew back out with me! The flight to Denver was uneventful, other than turbulence as we descended. That one bumpy moment was the one contraction I had all day. SO much better than I expected! My dad dropped me off with our good friend (and dentist) and his wife, then headed home to bed. Dr. Randy and Kathy Sanders took such great care of me all weekend! They ate every meal “picnic style” with me by my bed. I wish there was some way to express my gratitude for all they did! We are truly blessed to call them friends.
After a restful weekend visiting with friends, Nathan and the girls arrived. They picked me up Sunday morning and we were able to go to church together (me in a wheelchair, them running circles around me)! Mother’s Day was spent with my babies. All 4 of them. Will made his presence known in the form of hiccups, punches and kicks. Mother’s Day marked 25 weeks and 2 days on the pregnancy calendar! I have SO many blessings to count this year.
(The original post and comments can be found here.)